Becoming a Man

That's how a woman described her life after  her husband died 5 years ago.

"All the things he did around the house I had to learn to do. I had to learn to clean the pool, run the rototiller. Fix the stuff  around the house my husband always repaired."

I know exactly what she's talking about!!  There were things my husband did that I didn't give a second thought to.

Like rototilling the garden.

My husband loved to garden.  He was particular about it too.  When we were first married, he didn't like the way I pulled weeds.  I wasn't thorough enough.  He asked me not to help him pull weeds in the garden.  He thought he had offended me.  Ha!  Not in the least.  I would sit and watch him pull the weeds.  When the harvest was ready, I'd go out and pick the produce of his labor.  It was that way for 28 years!

 The garden grew weeds this summer.  The energy just wasn't there.

I thought I would like to plant a winter garden.

I got in last month and pulled weeds.  Perhaps not as thorough as my husband would have been, but I did a decent job.  After pulling weeds, I rototilled. His old, man sized, rototiller was a hand-me-down from his father. He must have had that thing  at least 15 years.  There was no way I could have maneuvered that thing.  It broke down last year, and Barry couldn't get the parts  to repair it.  When visiting his father, he brought home a smaller hand-me-down rototiller.  He called it a piece of junk.  But it worked for me! I mixed the gasoline with the oil to the ratio it said, poured it in, and fired the rototiller up!  I was delighted!  I rototilled the garden. I then proceeded to to plant kale, mustard greens, collard greens, chard, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussel sprouts and  lettuce.

The other prepared bed will have carrots, beets, parsnips and rutabagas.  I  know  rutabagas are basically turnips, but my daughter said she loved the sound that word made. So instead of turnips there are rutabagas.

 Barry understood the therapeutic value of gardening, and I hope to learn that value also.

 I feel pretty good about my garden.  I'll keep you posted as to how it is growing.

Counting Your Blessings

They say cancer patients have good days and bad days.  Dealing with grief is kind of like that.  It can be a bright and sunny day, then all of a sudden a dark gloomy cloud rests overhead.  Out of nowhere.  It could be a smell, a song, a phrase, or just looking at a photo in passing that triggers it.

I've been told the pain softens over time, but time seems to be dragging!  I realize it's a process that one must go through to be healthy on the other side.

At the end of each day  I try to think of a blessing  I received that day and write it down.  It may be  simply  my daughter's safe return from the next town, or getting the resources to cover a hefty utility bill.

Karita's Book of Blessings

To cope, I have to look for the blessings in that day. As the pain softens, and time passes, I may look back at my book and be able to count many  blessings!

I hope so.

This Old Truck

My husbands truck needed to be smogged this week.  He was so proud of this truck.  He bought it at a car auction for $1.00.  He was outbid for the truck he wanted to buy. Walking away dejected, he decided to return to see what other trucks were going for.

When the auctioneer, in frustration after no one was bidding on this truck, exclaimed "Can't I get anyone to give me a dollar for this truck?".

Dollar Truck

Barry said "I'll give you a dollar."

The auctioneer further frustrated said "Sold for one dollar!"

What a coup that was!  All the parts to the motor were in the back of the pickup.  Not only that, there was an electric shaver that actually worked!  There was a ream of computer paper, and numerous other interesting things.  The pickup even had  a metal tool box across the back.  Certainly he did not get burned on that deal!

Barry spent the next afternoon putting the motor back together and drove it home the next day.

That truck served him well.  So in the aftermath of his death, of course, I would keep his dollar truck!

So today I was nervous and saddened when I took his truck to get smogged.  Barry always got his cars to pass smog.  He took pride in them passing.

What did I know about getting a vehicle to pass smog?  Nothing, so I put in a new air filter, put some goober juice in the gas tank to clean the carburetor and the fuel lines.

Guess what?  It didn't pass!

Tears began to flow.  I've never had to deal with this.  I left his truck there for them to find and fix the cause, because I needed it to pass the smog test.  I needed to keep his dollar truck operative!

A Cherished Gift

My husband and I had been self employed, for the most part, all our married life.  We never knew what tomorrow would bring.   As he put it, sometimes we would have chicken for dinner,

 and other times we'd have the feathers for dinner!    As such he never allowed us to fall into the credit card trap.

We'd have to save for what we wanted.  Many times once we had the money, we really didn't want to spend our hard earned money on the object of our past affection.

When he died he left me with no outstanding debt, with minimal owing on our home.  I will always be grateful to him for insisting it be that way. 

There are no creditors circling over me like vultures!  

Thanks Barry!

In Loving Memory

My husband of 29 years died 2 weeks ago from cancer.  It was a sad, sad day for us.

Medically he fell through the cracks in the system.  His doctor kept telling him he was fine, kept telling him all the tests were in range.  When in fact  he was not fine and the tests were wrong!

William Barry Duncan   July 16, 1957 - July 1, 2011

His death has left a tremendous void in our lives.

He Will Call

Life, like a mist, appears for just a day,

Then disappears tomorrow.

All that we are can quickly fade away,

Replaced with tears and sorrow.

If a man should die, can he live again?

Hear the promise God has made:

He will call; the dead will answer.

They shall live at his command.

For he will have a longing

For the work of his own hand.

So have faith, and do not wonder,

For our God can make us stand.

And we shall live forever,

As the work of his own hand.

 Friends of our God, though they may pass away,

Will never be forsaken.

All those asleep who in God’s memory stay,

From death he will awaken.

Then we’ll come to see all that life can be:

Paradise eternally.

From Sing to Jehovah, Song 111

(Based on Job 14: 13 - 15)

Strawberry Dream Cake

Every April or May as a child, my father would drive us 100 miles to Oakland’s Chinatown for dinner and strawberry cake.  Strawberries were in season and the cake they made was to die for - at least I thought.  We’d eat a Chinese dinner family style, and have strawberry cake for dessert.  My father would then buy a whole cake to bring home with us.

That Chinese restaurant is no longer there, as are most restaurants from my childhood, but I can still taste that strawberry cake.

Over the years, I’ve sought to recreate that cake.  Through trial and error, I’ve come very very close.  Now every year while strawberries are in season (which they are now) I have to make a strawberry cake.  I like doing the 4-layer number.  Below are 2 variations using box cake mixes:

This one comes the closest.

Strawberry Dream Cake

Cake:

1 package  (2 layer) yellow cake mix

1 packet Dream Whip Topping Mix

4 eggs

1 cup cold water

Topping:

1 cup heavy whipping cream

1 pint strawberries, cleaned and sliced
(reserve a few whole strawberries for garnish on top)

Combine all ingredients for cake in a large bowl.  Blend with electric mixer at medium speed for 4 minutes.  Pour into greased and floured 9” cake pans.  Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes.  Cool 10 minutes in pans; then remove from pans and finish cooling on rack.  If you want a 4-layer cake, after cooling, cut each layer in half.

Whip whipping cream on high until thick and fluffy.  Add sugar to taste.  Spread whipped cream on each layer, then place sliced strawberries on top.  Repeat.  On the top layer decorate with whole strawberries placed in center.

Sour Cream Pound Cake

1 package Duncan Hines Butter Cake Mix

Follow recipe for the Sock-It-To-Me Cake on cake box side (omitting streusel filling)

Proceed with whipping cream as above.

These cakes make a lovely presentation. Try one, I think you will agree!